I’ve been that person. The one that’s convinced that they don’t need therapy.
I’ve been that person who went to therapy a few times and was convinced I was “cured”.
I’ve been that person who doesn’t want to start over with a new therapist.
I’ve been that person that has had to start over with a new therapist (multiple times).
The path to a better you, a more “you” version of you, is winding and sometimes difficult. The path is not always paved roads and obvious signs, sometimes it means doing things that might be uncomfortable at first – like going to therapy.
RELATED CONTENT
Is therapy really worth it?
Let’s be honest
No-one starts out saying they need to go to therapy. There is always some length of time where we believe we have things under control. And for some time maybe we do.
There are many distractions to occupy our time these days. Social media is the elephant in the room here, and there are all these mobile games you can play (I’ve been sucked into a few lately). There are also more traditionally positive things like reading or gardening. I’ve heard of people stress cleaning and baking when they’re overwhelmed. So your distractions are many, and can look very different from what someone else’s. It is also quite easy then to conflate this “coping mechanism” with something else, because it’s probably more productive than drinking alcohol for example.
But sometimes not even a perfectly cleaned room, that glass of wine (or something stronger), that book, or those baked goods can dull the pain of what we’re suppressing.
Sometimes distractions aren’t enough
Occasionally, when we’ve been pushing things to the back of our minds – instead of dealing with them – we may feel a little overwhelmed. This may lead to a few things, and some of those things may include:
- re-watching tv shows and series multiple times [sometimes it’s comforting to watch and re-watch shows where you already know what’s going to happen so there are no surprises. It ultimately allows you to feel like you’re in control – especially when you may not feel in control of certain aspects of life]
- burnout [you may find yourself feeling tired a lot. Not just sleepy, but mentally fatigued]
- sometimes this fatigue can lead to reverse bedtime procrastination [we’ll talk about this a bit more below, but essentially because we feel so fatigued going through our day that we try to reclaim “rest time” in the evenings, but scrolling through social media or watching shows – whatever else except sleep. We felt overworked during the day and are reclaiming this time to unwind, but we’re also neglecting sleep in the process]
- watching reality shows or vlogs [this one might be a little touchè, but sometimes in order to escape from our own lives we want to get lost in other people’s lives rather than dealing with our own. This might also follow to other social media platforms – so after watching a series on a streaming service we might follow the cast’s social media footprint]
- reducing communication with loved ones {this may be intentional or not, but sometimes the burden becomes too much and affects our social relationships. It might be difficult to maintain conversations and find the motivation to leave the house]
But, are there signs I need to look for
We all know when we’re not feeling great. We know when things are feeling too much. Generally, we ignore a lot because we don’t want to face it. I get it. It’s tough. It’s ugly. It’s hard to deal with the past. We’re probably also at a point where we’ve pushing things down for so long that we think we’re okay.
It is ultimately your decision whether you want to go through a little bit of pain to come out a little differently on the other side. I often say that our adulthood is really just for us to deal with our childhood trauma. I said it at first in jest, but I’ve come to realize that it might be true. Despite our parents’ greatest efforts, there are moments of our childhood that were scarring, and this may have followed us into adulthood. Some people might have been able to build a bridge and get over it, while others might have tried to build a bridge but didn’t have the tools.
RELATED CONTENT
Life is hard
We can all agree that life is hard.. If we’re not in a good place mentally then that could make it a little more difficult. As I said before, therapy is not always our first resort and that’s pretty normal. There are a number of ways we can check-in with ourselves on a regular basis:
- journalling is a great way to take note of what’s happening around us and to share the content of our minds without judgement
- chatting with a friend is also a great release. Be mindful that you should be choosing this friend carefully. It should be someone that you trust and would make a great sounding board
- maybe writing in a journal isn’t your thing, but maybe creating something is a better outlet for you. Whether its some form of art, a collage, even a blog post that no-one may ever see, take some time to release those feelings
- never underestimate the power of a good cry
- yoga might also be a good way to relieve stress and clear your mind
- meditation is also a great way to get in touch with those inner feelings, and ultimately come to terms with those feelings
RELATED CONTENT
Why therapy
Therapy is a valuable option, and has been revolutionary for many people. Therapy can even rewire our brains: “psychological therapy can lead to changes in the mechanics of the brain. This is especially important for conditions like psychosis which have traditionally been viewed as ‘brain diseases’ that require medication or even surgery” (source).
Personally, therapy has allowed me to see a lot of things that I had been blind to before. A few years ago I thought I had nothing to go to therapy for, and now looking back – I couldn’t have been more wrong. Going to therapy has also improved all my relationships – with my family members (especially my parents), with my partner and with my friends. Therapy has allowed me to unveil parts of myself I never knew existed.
I know it can be a bit expensive, I still have to weight a few things before I make a therapy session. Take some time to look for some free/pay what you can resources in your area and even online options. IF you prefer to have a dedicated therapist do a budget to figure out how you will slot in this additional expense. Your mental health is part of your overall wellness, take the time to do what you need to continue becoming a better version of you.