Every second that passes is another moment towards our future. Our life is filled with moments. We have to choose how we will use these moments, because we can never get them back.
You may find this concept motivational, or may feel some undue pressure to do more since every moment counts. But, the fact that those words were written in that way was not what made it true. It only became true for you because those words resonated with you in some way (more than likely because you have been having similar thoughts, or deep down you shared similar sentiments).
Always remember that you ultimately have the power over how anything will affect you, now sometimes we are left with little to no defences when stimuli affect us subconsciously, but ultimately we have a say in how we feel, what we feel, and how we manifest this feeling.
Do I still have time?
This does not make it easier to admit that you’re not feeling motivated, or you’re going through a rough patch. In Meg Jay’s The Defining Decade, she spoke about how your 20s is the time that will define the rest of your life, and how getting a handle on things in your 20s will shape the rest of your life. I read that book when I was about to close out my chapter on my 20s and it might have caught me too late, but also at the perfect time.
While, you may be clinging to your 20s or long past those glory years, you can still take a lesson from Meg Jay’s book. The idea is that we should pause to look at our 20s to see what lessons we can learn; to see the kind of person we were then; the traits and habits we want to keep; and the less desirable traits that we may want to retire. Looking at your past self, and thinking about how you want to evolve from this version of you.
Now, even the most conscientious among us will have moments when we just don’t want to. Moments when we are not motivated to continue. I find that as I get older these moments become more frequent and last much longer than before. The moment I deviate from my routine then everything crumbles and I feel like I am starting again from ground zero.
We are the “avocado toast generation”
Before we even delve deeper into this lack of motivation, I have to mention the role of society in all of this. The media has pretty much portrayed Millennials as the doomed generation. We are the avocado toast generation who pretty much killed everything and can’t afford to buy a house. We are the generation who have worked hard and society has rewarded us with little gains. We are also the generation who care about the environment and are forcing companies to rethink work culture. We are a no-nonsense generation with a flexible spine. A generation who killed book stores then brought them back.
Suffice it to say, you can’t believe everything you hear/read. But having these things constantly greeting you on social media, or on TV, or wherever you access news is annoying, and it may also start affecting you. Maybe not all at once, but slowly overtime. Planting th tiniest seed of doubt.
It’s hard to stay motivated
It’s hard to feel motivated in the midst of imminent failure. During the 2020 Coronavirus pandemic when it felt like things would never be the same again, it was hard for me to stay on track and keep working on goals and my regular routine. I checked my diary from that time, and I had actually stopped writing down goals and progress in May (didn’t even make it half -way through the year).
When things happen that throw us off our path a bit, it also puts a wrench in our plans ..and we get that deep “what’s the point” sigh in our throats and we want to throw in the towel and call it a day. As I am typing this I feel guilty about wanting to quit while doing the bare minimum while my ancestors went through so much more…for me to be complaining about staying focused and wanted to give up.
I have to remind myself though, and you, that we should not be comparing our struggles right now to anything else. Compare this moment only to this moment. Zero in on why you feel this way now, how you got here, what might help you get out of here and how to move forward (and how to better handle situations like this again).
They say comparison is the thief of joy, but it’s also the thief of sadness, fear…and pretty much any other emotion. Thinking that it could always be worse, or thinking that you’re better off than so many other people (“so, what do I have to complain about”) takes away the opportunity for us to feel. The opportunity for us to understand the emotions we’re currently feeling and really get to the birthplace of some of these issues. Thinking that you have nothing to worry about, or thinking that you should be happy because happy things are happening to you – negates your current feelings and invalidates the surrounding emotions.
Don’t sell yourself short… even if it’s just about feeling sad. We have to feel in order to heal.
If you’re feeling demotivated it might be due to a myriad of reasons, and you have to give yourself the space and the time to figure things out. If it’s a complex multi-pronged issue you may tend to feel more bogged down and have low energy towards any kind of initiative to get out of this hole. My problem with have a series of complex issues is that I don’t know where to start, I get flustered and then just don’t start. So, do as I say not as I do lol. But honestly, any movement towards a start will create just enough momentum to start spinning your inaction into action and your “demotivated” demeanour to “motivated”.
Start so small you can’t fail
Start small, start so small that you don’t even realize that you’ve made a change. Like Max Frenzel said in episode 46 of the podcast – if you start small, you can’t fail! Well it certainly does reduce your chances of failing. So if you feel yourself slipping, somehow unable to grasp those goals, or just not interested in setting any, ask yourself why, and as you wait on the answer start making some small moves to get you back into the groove.
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Enjoy the joy of simply being
As we outlined before it is sometimes necessary to sit with your emotions a bit, especially the ones that make you uncomfortable. This is so that you can better understand yourself and how you generally process these kinds of stimuli. Knowing this information will help you to reduce its debilitating effects next time, so you can handle it like a champ.
It’s never easy to get out of a funk, but you’ve done it so many times before. Your life is characterized not by how many times life knocked you down, but how many times you got back up AND the lessons you learned each time. Remember to always take some time to understand the lessons. You may make a similar mistake more than one or two times but you may learn something different each time. Life is hard enough, so go easy on yourself.
It is what it is 🤷🏽♀️
Life is kinda like a roller-coaster, you know nothing too bad might happen because you’re strapped into the ride but that doesn’t stop you from being terrified of the pitfalls and bumps in the road (some you can see coming and others that take you by surprise). I hate roller-coasters so I am either indifferent or scream the whole time (which are pretty much my go-to responses when things get tough – well and also eating junk food). Now, is as good a time as any to level up. We need to realize what our usual coping mechanisms look like and evaluate whether we want this to continue being a coping strategy in the future. For example: I know I over-eat when I am stressed, but eating all these fatty, sugary foods ultimately make me feel worse because I gain so much weight and then become less active and then just feel stuck.
So, in the future maybe I’ll replace eating sugary snacks with taking a walk or doing some simple yoga stretches. Find out what’s stopping you, what might be a stumbling block in your path?
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Setting and Achieving Goals: A Cheat Sheet
My parents (and several reggae singers) used to say “life is not a bed of roses”, so we can expect some ups and downs. As we get older it feels like more downs than ups…but you’ve got to keep your head up. Your story is not done, and the world deserves to hear it, see it and be part of it.
Here’s to the magic you have already created and will continue to create 🥂