As you’re reading this I would like to invite you to shut off the Expectations Department running in your head. Give those thoughts a few hours off. We have been conditioned to think of / plan for / prepare for the future, but what do we do with the present?
Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
– Bill Keane
The present: why is it the misunderstood cousin of the future?
We spend so much time planning for our future life, we forget to live the lives we have today. We use so much of the present to work on the future – that it seems we’ve been living in limbo: unable to really enjoy the life we currently have because we are so enamoured with the life we want to have.
You will never be this old, or this young, You will never be this happy or this sad. You will never be as clear or as confused. In the book “Five Invitations” by Frank Ostaseski, he stated you can never relive a moment. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. He gave examples like when we’re all snuggled up in bed and then realize you have to pee. After you’ve gone to the bathroom and return to bed, you will never be able to find that perfect position again. Ain’t this the truth 😩
With this realization then, we need to shift our focus a bit. How are you living your moments? How are you enjoying these 5 hours, minutes, seconds that you will never be able to relive? What’s so bad about the present that we’ve shifted so much focus away from it and put the future on a pedestal?
Failure as Fuel
To be fair, I get it, I get that the present can be pretty shitty. Moving through the motions is not easy, regardless of the achievements you’ve attained. Our lives may not be what we want right now, so focusing our energies on improving our situation for a more favourable future gives us the fuel to continue. In all the stories we’ve heard of great people who had to overcome adversity, they speak about how they used their failure as fuel.
Learning the lesson that that moment came to teach us and then using this new knowledge to influence other moments. This on-going process adds up, and as we continue learning and applying these learnings more and more we get closer to the reality we desire.
Focus on the present to build the future
Therefore, focusing on the present will help us to live the future we want. Imagine you’re a track athlete.
You’re only as good as your last performance
-An overused cliché
Track athletes live in the present. Yes, when you see them on the track there are years of training, pain, wins and losses behind the moment; but to add to their legacy they have this moment, this race, this opportunity. After the race – the performance is dissected – what can be improved? Where did you go wrong? There are lessons in the present that we should acknowledge, appreciate and learn from. We will not always be able to replay the moments (like a track athlete can replay their recorded performances), so we need to focus on living in the moment (and remaining open to the lessons). These present moments are gradually preparing us for the anticipated future.
Ensure that while you’re working at the life you want to have in the future, you’re remembering to live the life you have now in the present.
Pause
In a world where everything is moving a mile a minute and we’re more concerned with what may happen than what IS happening right now, it is a good idea to pause.
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Pause and take stock of your life. Freeze this moment and take a look at tit. Who are you really? What are you doing? Is this part of the life you want for yourself? Pause to acknowledge where you are. Whether or not you overcame obstacles or had to fight tooth and nail – you are here. No matter how easy or hard it was for you to get here. Just like when you enter a huge shopping mall and see that site map with the “X” that marks that “you are here” – you don’t need to have all the directions right just yet. All you need to know is that you’ve come this far and it is not your final destination.
Enjoy the joy of simply being
“Enjoy the joy of simply being” is a term I got from one of the messages on my daily affirmation cards. It’s not just a cool phrase to say or read, it really should be a mantra for our everyday lives.
We only get this one life and at the rate we’ve been going, we’re probably missing it. You don’t need to be working 24/7. Your hobby doesn’t need to be a side hustle. It’s okay not to be happy everyday. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to put yourself first. It’s okay to slow down.
Take some deliberate time today to just sit. Sit with your thoughts, your discomfort, your anxiety (about not finishing a project and how long this sitting will take), then give yourself a compliment. Whisper sweet nothings (or rather sweet somethings) to yourself. Then ask yourself: what does joy mean to me? What might it look like for me to enjoy my life?