I took a long time to write this blog post because I felt like a hypocrite. Who was I to come tell you not to rack up debt on your credit card buying gifts for yourself and others…when that is literally what I have been doing.
But, we are all works in progress; we are all working to be better everyday. So, I am writing this for us, so that next year and the year after and the year after that we won’t be making the same mistake. Now that we (well, I ) have identified the problem then let’s work towards a solution.
I don’t know what it is, but as soon as November hits I just get into this “YOLO (am I aging myself? lol) let’s buy everything” mood. During the year I am pretty stringent (most months) with my spending and when December hits it signals my splurge alert. The only problem with that splurge is that it makes January feel like a marathon…a broke broke marathon.
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I discovered the wonders of a credit card in my mid to late 20’s and got a quick lesson in what “buy now, pay later” really meant. The credit card was required for me to make certain purchases at school (to be honest, that might have been the only reason I got it). I am pretty much a miser (currently working on that) and I didn’t even have a debit card until a few years before that. I was saving money for a rainy day and whenever my cash ran out well… that was it. The fun was over.
However, traversing life as a young professional (who had more financial responsibilities even though I was living at home at the time) was difficult with this kind of cash-only policy. There were emergencies that would pop up, or large purchases to make (and who wants to walk around with wads of cash?). So I caved and got a debit card and then took it a step further and got a visa debit card – basically a credit card, but without the debt. You had to have money in the bank to make the purchase so it worked out well for me. That was until some websites stopped taking visa debit cards and then I required a credit card for certain purchases when I decided to go back to school.
Credit cards: a gift and a curse
Suffice it to say cards can be our best friends. Credit cards can give you some sweet cash back, or points toward travel and lots of other perks, but it can also be a trap … an expensive trap (especially during this season of giving).
Before we end up with lots of shit we don’t need, and before we end up giving people gifts they don’t want…let’s take a step back and bring mindfulness into the picture.
Mindfulness in gift-giving
I know, you’re probably asking what mindfulness has to do with buying this dope gift? Glad you asked! Only everything.
In this post we spoke about some questions we should ask ourselves before we make a purchase. These questions are also relevant when we are buying gifts or just picking up a few things for a friend/loved one. But, how mindfulness really comes in is when we ask ourselves:
- what is the motivation behind this purchase?
Are we buying it for this person because we want to do something nice, or are we buying it so we can send a subtle message to let them know what calibre of gift we’re expecting in the future?
If you want to just do something nice for a friend/loved one, then do it. Showing love, affection and gratitude doesn’t have to come in the form of gifts or even gift cards. It can be the “gift” of a new experience (trying new foods or maybe going indoor skydiving); it could be giving the gift go time (spending quality time with them); it could be the gift of a listening ear (really listen to what they’re saying and meet the needs that they might not have verbalized)… you get the idea right?
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Practicing mindfulness, when we’re buying for others (not just ourselves) defaults us to thinking about meaning. How meaningful is this gift? Is there a hidden meaning? Am I expecting something in return? Does it say what I want to communicate? Will I be offended if they hate it?
We usually try to do a quick fix by saying, “well, I’ll just grab a gift card”. But, will it be useful for that person?
I have gotten coffee shop gift cards, and I am not really a fan of coffee shops. So I usually have the cards forever or end up giving them away. Bringing mindfulness into the equation means you’re constantly thinking about use, value and joy.
- Will the person use this gift or gift card?
- Is it value for money, and does it demonstrate how much you value them?
- Will it bring joy?
We do gift cards because they’re easy, and seemingly practical but don’t just take the easy way out.
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Resources
Major keys to not going broke this holiday season:
Key #1 🔑: Practice mindfulness before every purchase
[hot tip: bookmark this post and do a quick run through when you need a reminder]
Key #2 🔑: Try not to do all your gift-shopping on your credit card. Ideally you shouldn’t be making any gift purchases on your credit card (just to ensure that you don’t go overboard), but let’s take baby steps. Decide which gifts you’re doing via cash/debit and which ones will go on your credit card.
[hot tip: check which items will give you the most cash back and then split up purchases that way]
Key #3 🔑: Make a budget…and stick to it !
[hot tip: setting a definitive number can be hard, so try this method: having a baseline, flex and “hell no I’m not paying that much” range for your purchases. Baseline would be the starting number, flex is a comfortable middle ground and then there’s the cost you ABSOLUTELY won’t go over]
Key #4 🔑: What can you do instead? Contrary to popular belief, sometimes our friends and loved ones prefer to spend time with us than receiving a gift/ gift card. Listen to them, like really listen to them and see how best you can show them that they are appreciated.
Key #5 🔑: What do you really want to say? Will they get it? A few years ago I went through all this trouble to get my father this very nice gold watch and got it engraved for his birthday. Thought this was a great way to show him how much I love him. Within a few months something went wrong with the watch and he stopped wearing it, and I felt crushed. Then I realized I bought the watch really for me… so he could wear it and when I saw him wearing it I would be proud; that when people admired it, he would tell them I bought it for him.
When buying gifts we need to think about what we want to communicate to this person, and then do this in a way that they will understand. So, we just go to cricket matches now 😊.
[hot tip: it’s not about you]
Let’s save some cash and give some love this season!