Confessions of a Millennial
The closer I get to 30, the more I spiral. There are so many questions. So many things I need to accomplish and plans really need to be set in stone by 30, right? Because that just seems like the “turn of the decade” where things need to be in alignment; but as the “finish line” comes into view …what happens? Do you look to the left and right to see where everybody else is and compare your speed to theirs? Do you keep going full speed ahead? Do you stop, because you can’t go anymore?
It’s a strange business, all this emphasis and expectation the society puts on turning 30. I can only assume it “became a thing” back when people only had a few decades to live, so you had to have everything in order; because …well… life might end at 30. But, in this modern world where technology has seen us harvesting organs and people are living until they’re 100 – is there the same sense of urgency?
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We’ve replaced “dying by 30” with having things in order by 30 because were now a hyper-competitive society. Karl Marx (one of the sociologists I love and hate) spoke about the fact that there will always be the ruling and working class and while society makes you believe that you can attain social mobility – through ideas like meritocracy – there’s really no way for the working class to become the ruling class. Using Marxist theory, then we are hamsters running on a wheel – chasing something that we really can never attain. Society creates unbelievable and sometimes unattainable standards for us, and all of this is orchestrated by the ruling class to ensure that us – the working class- are “hungry” and if we stay hungry for, dedicated to and motivated enough to achieve success then we will be the best performing workers. If you dangle a treat in front of a dog he/she will perform the task to get the treat and eventually the dog won’t need the treat to perform the task.
Achieving all your life’s work by 30 is really a scam!
However, while I am cognizant of the phantom/illusory nature of “getting everything done by 30” I do find myself preoccupied with asking what I’ve achieved almost daily as the the years get closer. As millennials, I feel like we’re both the luckiest and perhaps most stressed people on Earth. Lucky because we grew up in a time of great advancement which made life a bit easier for us but this same advancement has also made it more difficult. This constant need “to be better than” makes navigating life increasingly demanding. Competition is nothing new, surely, but its adaptation in this more technological age is something to note.
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I recently watched Take Your Pills on Netflix (very interesting, you should watch it) and it really speaks to how the pressure to be “better” – especially in the workplace and in academic life – has propelled the psycho-stimulant drug industry. I will preface what I am about to say with this: I am not speaking about people who take these for medically diagnosed reasons including ADD and ADHD but I am talking about people who take it to have a competitive edge over their fellow employees, or to work longer and harder. The documentary outlines how much pressure some jobs put on their employees to succeed, that they feel the only way to cope, to be ahead of the game and on top of their game is to take a psycho-stimulant (acquired legally or illegally). There have been cases (that I know of personally) where people have forgotten to eat for days on end – their focus had become intensely myopic.
We are going to great lengths, pushing ourselves constantly to succeed…to have these lists of things completed before 30… but what happens if we don’t? I mean, life still goes on right? We still have to wake up and face each day with hopes and dreams that the next day will see us closer to our desired future.
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You are not a failure
I have to tell myself that I am not a failure because the list of things I want to accomplish extend beyond the finish line and there’s no way I can catch up. As I run out of time, I have to constantly reassure myself that things happen in their own time. I have to remember that this journey I’m on is mine – not my parents’; not my friends’. So I can only compete with myself – within context of course. Maybe I was at a reasonably better place last year but what were the circumstances behind that, and is this current situation the same?
Sometimes we get so caught up with this “rat race” that we forget to live. So, I’ve been learning to embrace that maybe 40 is the new 30 and as long as I keep my long-term goals in mind and steadily work towards them then I’m already on the right path. There really is no need to put additional pressure on myself…society is already out here doing the most.
Let’s be kinder to ourselves as we try to reach our dreams… and remember to enjoy every moment.
I saw this quote recently and I just had to share it, a question really:
Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?
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