Have you ever asked yourself this?
I definitely have, and as I get older the frequency increases. But, how did we get here? How have we come to ask ourselves this? Why are you reading this?
It’s okay not to be happy all the time
Probably because you’ve known sadness, prolonged sadness. A sadness that hugged you, that wrapped around you… that almost stifled you. It almost felt good. Happiness began to feel wrong, like it didn’t quite fit anymore, because these sad blue jeans fit really well. You and the sadness became one, it became a crutch…until you saw the light.
Not all days will be good days. We are bombarded with positive messages and smiling faces on social media everyday, and sometimes it feels like sadness is not normal and we are the only people feeling sad in the whole world. You are not alone and sadness is not abnormal.
DISCLAIMER: I have never been diagnosed with depression and I am not a trained counsellor. Just someone flirting with this question every few months. (possibly like you).
Being sad, is not the same as being depressed
Being sad and being depressed are two different things. You may have found yourself at some point saying “ugh…I am so depressed about____”, when in fact you were probably just dealing with a minor inconvenience. As we get older/ as we mature we tend not to use that word that loosely. The definition above outlines the clinical definition of depression. It is a serious condition and is not just something you can “get over”.
Some people hold the view that depression is not “real”, that it is something people make up so they can be excused from doing certain things. There are schools of thought that say that people who experience depression are weak. However, in this space we believe and hold true that depression is a real and serious condition.
Everyone handles situations differently, everyone manages sadness and misfortune differently. Some things are “easy” to bounce back from; sometimes we need to roll around a few times before we get up; and sometimes you just need more time or a listening ear. But, how long is too long …and when do you know when to seek help?
How long is too long to be sad
There’s no timeline for when you should get over something. it may also be the case that it seems that this fog of sadness has come over you and seems to have no source of origin. Take some time to sit with your thoughts, and try to form a pattern : do you feel sad at all points during the day; is it only at specific times; when? Depending on the depth of the sadness, you will know when you’ve had enough. When you want to speak with someone about it, and when you need to seek professional help.
Never feel like you have nothing to be sad about, never feel like it’s not worth the tears, never feel like this is the end, never feel like you are alone.
Click the link below for coping resources if you think you may be depressed, and please PLEASE reach out to a therapist, counsellor or some other professionally trained individual to talk about any issues you may be having and how to manage/ eliminate these burdens.